Sermon for Sunday Evening, September 7th, 2025 at First Presbyterian Church at Unionville, NY (BPC)
Sermon Text:
[2Sa 3:1-39 ESV] 1 There was a long war between the house of Saul and the house of David. And David grew stronger and stronger, while the house of Saul became weaker and weaker. 2 And sons were born to David at Hebron: his firstborn was Amnon, of Ahinoam of Jezreel; 3 and his second, Chileab, of Abigail the widow of Nabal of Carmel; and the third, Absalom the son of Maacah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur; 4 and the fourth, Adonijah the son of Haggith; and the fifth, Shephatiah the son of Abital; 5 and the sixth, Ithream, of Eglah, David’s wife. These were born to David in Hebron. 6 While there was war between the house of Saul and the house of David, Abner was making himself strong in the house of Saul. 7 Now Saul had a concubine whose name was Rizpah, the daughter of Aiah. And Ish-bosheth said to Abner, “Why have you gone in to my father’s concubine?” 8 Then Abner was very angry over the words of Ish-bosheth and said, “Am I a dog’s head of Judah? To this day I keep showing steadfast love to the house of Saul your father, to his brothers, and to his friends, and have not given you into the hand of David. And yet you charge me today with a fault concerning a woman. 9 God do so to Abner and more also, if I do not accomplish for David what the LORD has sworn to him, 10 to transfer the kingdom from the house of Saul and set up the throne of David over Israel and over Judah, from Dan to Beersheba.” 11 And Ish-bosheth could not answer Abner another word, because he feared him. 12 And Abner sent messengers to David on his behalf, saying, “To whom does the land belong? Make your covenant with me, and behold, my hand shall be with you to bring over all Israel to you.” 13 And he said, “Good; I will make a covenant with you. But one thing I require of you; that is, you shall not see my face unless you first bring Michal, Saul’s daughter, when you come to see my face.” 14 Then David sent messengers to Ish-bosheth, Saul’s son, saying, “Give me my wife Michal, for whom I paid the bridal price of a hundred foreskins of the Philistines.” 15 And Ish-bosheth sent and took her from her husband Paltiel the son of Laish. 16 But her husband went with her, weeping after her all the way to Bahurim. Then Abner said to him, “Go, return.” And he returned. 17 And Abner conferred with the elders of Israel, saying, “For some time past you have been seeking David as king over you. 18 Now then bring it about, for the LORD has promised David, saying, ‘By the hand of my servant David I will save my people Israel from the hand of the Philistines, and from the hand of all their enemies.'” 19 Abner also spoke to Benjamin. And then Abner went to tell David at Hebron all that Israel and the whole house of Benjamin thought good to do. 20 When Abner came with twenty men to David at Hebron, David made a feast for Abner and the men who were with him. 21 And Abner said to David, “I will arise and go and will gather all Israel to my lord the king, that they may make a covenant with you, and that you may reign over all that your heart desires.” So David sent Abner away, and he went in peace. 22 Just then the servants of David arrived with Joab from a raid, bringing much spoil with them. But Abner was not with David at Hebron, for he had sent him away, and he had gone in peace. 23 When Joab and all the army that was with him came, it was told Joab, “Abner the son of Ner came to the king, and he has let him go, and he has gone in peace.” 24 Then Joab went to the king and said, “What have you done? Behold, Abner came to you. Why is it that you have sent him away, so that he is gone? 25 You know that Abner the son of Ner came to deceive you and to know your going out and your coming in, and to know all that you are doing.” 26 When Joab came out from David’s presence, he sent messengers after Abner, and they brought him back from the cistern of Sirah. But David did not know about it. 27 And when Abner returned to Hebron, Joab took him aside into the midst of the gate to speak with him privately, and there he struck him in the stomach, so that he died, for the blood of Asahel his brother. 28 Afterward, when David heard of it, he said, “I and my kingdom are forever guiltless before the LORD for the blood of Abner the son of Ner. 29 May it fall upon the head of Joab and upon all his father’s house, and may the house of Joab never be without one who has a discharge or who is leprous or who holds a spindle or who falls by the sword or who lacks bread!” 30 So Joab and Abishai his brother killed Abner, because he had put their brother Asahel to death in the battle at Gibeon. 31 Then David said to Joab and to all the people who were with him, “Tear your clothes and put on sackcloth and mourn before Abner.” And King David followed the bier. 32 They buried Abner at Hebron. And the king lifted up his voice and wept at the grave of Abner, and all the people wept. 33 And the king lamented for Abner, saying, “Should Abner die as a fool dies? 34 Your hands were not bound; your feet were not fettered; as one falls before the wicked you have fallen.” And all the people wept again over him. 35 Then all the people came to persuade David to eat bread while it was yet day. But David swore, saying, “God do so to me and more also, if I taste bread or anything else till the sun goes down!” 36 And all the people took notice of it, and it pleased them, as everything that the king did pleased all the people. 37 So all the people and all Israel understood that day that it had not been the king’s will to put to death Abner the son of Ner. 38 And the king said to his servants, “Do you not know that a prince and a great man has fallen this day in Israel? 39 And I was gentle today, though anointed king. These men, the sons of Zeruiah, are more severe than I. The LORD repay the evildoer according to his wickedness!”
Introduction
There are two main themes in this passage that I want to expand upon.
First, there is the strengthening of David’s house. The work of the Lord.
Then there is the foolishness of Abner that leads to his death. The work of man.
There is that contrast – the work of God v. The work of man.
But something else I’ve notice in my years in this world. Good things — positive growth and blessings — come slowly over the years and by the hand of God. While destruction comes swiftly usually by the foolishness of man. So we often think “Lord, where are the blessings from you, when I seem to have only new troubles each day.” Well, those blessings often come slowly and perhaps you are not even recognizing them. You SLOWLY gain Biblical knowledge as you read the Bible and hear sermons. You slowly build your family. You even slowly build your net worth (and that’s a good thing) by working hard each day; or six out of seven days anyways.
So there are those two themes.
The strengthening of David’s house by the work of the Lord.
And the destruction of Abner due to his foolishness.
But I’ve chosen 5 headings to brake down this passage, which is a full chapter in length.
I. David’s House Growing Stronger, Saul’s House Becoming Weaker (v. 1-5)
II. Abner switches sides. (v. 6-11)
III. Abner Communicates with David (v. 12-19)
IV. Joab Murders Abner (v. 20-27)
V. David’s Response (v. 28-39)
I. David’s House Growing Stronger, Saul’s House Becoming Weaker (v. 1-5)
We find a number of children being born to David and his plural wives. And I’ve spoken previously against polygamy. We ought to remember that God’s intention from Genesis was for 1 man and 1 woman to be married together. Especially does the Bible warn against kings “acquiring many wives” (Deuteronomy 17:17), and we typically see that the polygamist situations in the Bible are rife with troubles. Our passage doesn’t make a moral judgment on polygamy, but merely reports what is going on.
We ought to say, however, that “many wives is a bad thing.”
Yet, “many children is a great thing.”
David’s house is growing, and that is a blessing of the Lord.
[Psa 127:5 ESV] 5 Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
So there is an important point here: Children are a blessing, even if from sin. Polygamy is sin, but the children are still children; still humans, still a blessing of God. So it is that we must be consistent when we are against abortion. We do not make an exception in the case of rape or incest. Those sins don’t allow us to murder the unborn.
There is another problem here with David. Not just the polygamy. But also marrying foreign wives. One of them is Maacah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur. This has the positive benefit of securing alliances with other nations, but God had warned against marrying foreigners; not because they were a different race but because they were a different religion.
So we see some seeds of trouble in this otherwise positive account that the Lord is strengthening the house of David.
Matthew Henry comments: “Absalom’s mother is said to be the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur, a heathen prince. Perhaps David thereby hoped to strengthen his interest, but the issue of the marriage was one that proved his grief and shame.”
What is also notable, that we see throughout 1 Samuel and 2 Samuel is a continuing argument that David’s reign as king is due to the Lord’s will, not through nefarious, evil, or trickster practices of David. These things – like Abner’s murder later in the chapter – are NOT David’s doing. Similarly, we had seen how many times David intentionally avoided killing Saul despite having the opportunity to do so. David is being made king — and he willingly accepts it — but he is not an overly-ambitious power-hungry tyrant. He is God’s anointed king.
Now, having started the passage about the house of David growing stronger, we turn to Abner, who “was making himself strong.” You can see the contrast in attitudes right there.
II. Abner switches sides. (v. 6-11)
Abner, as you might recall, is the cousin of Saul (“the son of Ner, Saul’s uncle” – 1 Sam 14:50) and is the general of the army in Ishbosheth’s Israel, the opponent of David’s Judah.
But we see in this chapter Abner switching sides.
It starts with the first of two foolish actions Abner takes in this chapter. This first foolish action is his sleeping around; sleeping with the concubine of Saul (v. 6-8) which angers Ishbosheth. And Ishbosheth calls out Abner, saying “Why have you gone in to my father’s concubine? And this enrages Abner to the point that he decides to switch sides and join up with Judah and King David.
But Abner’s decisions are his own. While David’s house was growing stronger (by the hand of the Lord), “Abner was making himself strong.” So much so that Ishbosheth couldn’t control him. (v. 11)
And Abner doesn’t switch sides secretly; he tells Ishbosheth that he’s going to do it. But Ishbosheth “could not answer Abner another word, because he feared him.”
So the real power in Israel has been Abner. He’s probably older that Ishbosheth, and he had crowned Ishbosheth king. Now he wants to do the same to David, to crown him king. And this would end Ishbosheth’s reign and end the civil war in Israel.
But Abner is foolish, for sleeping around. And he is guilty. He doesn’t deny it.
III. Abner Communicates with David (v. 12-20)
So in verses 12-19 we find Abner communicating with David; working towards that goal of switching sides.
David uses the opportunity to as for one of his wives back, Michal. That will help prove that Abner is not lying (like Joab later contends).
And Abner completes the task. It is a sad scene, that I don’t entirely know what to make of. Michal has married someone else. And perhaps we should look at her marriage to David as improper because of the polygamy, but it was a marriage that happened first. So perhaps the second marriage is the one that is most improper.
Then, while David has many wives, this fellow, “her husband Paltiel the son of Laish” has only Michal and “went with her, weeping after her all the way to Bahurim.” What a sad circumstances.
And perhaps we see something here of David as a peacemaker, foreshadowing his anti-type Jesus Christ who fulfills that role fully as the “prince of peace.” David is willing to make peace though Abner has been an enemy. And when Abner and his men when they arrive David even entertains them with a feast in token of reconciliation.
IV. Joab Murders Abner (v. 21-27)
But while David is willing to make peace, Joab is not.
You should remember Joab from the previous chapter. He was one of the three brothers in that battle at the Pool of Gibeon. And his brother Asahel was killed by Abner. And he’s not forgetting that.
So Joab was quite upset when he heard about this plan for peace. He wants to kill Abner, despite the fact that Abner’s killing of Asahel was in self-defense with the butt-end of the spear in which the speedy Asahel ran himself into.
Then we have the real climax of this chapter in Abner’s death at the hands of Joab.
And this is the second foolish mistake of Abner.
The first was his sleeping around and getting the ire of Ishbosheth.
Now, he makes the grave mistake of stepping outside of the city walls to talk with Joab.
Inside those walls he would have been safe.
The town is Hebron, one of the cities of refuge. One of the cities you flee when you accidentally kill someone. Within the city walls Joab could not attack Abner. But outside of those walls, he’s at great risk.
And Abner should have known better, but he takes Joab’s offer to meet with him and speak privately.
In fact, it is not even outside of the city, but is “in the midst of the gate.” This must have counted though as being outside of the city. A technicality. A foolish mistake of Abner. And Joab strikes him there in the stomach, killing him, for the blood of Asahel his brother, striking him in the same place that Abner had struck Asahael.
So this why David says in verse 33
“Should Abner die as a fool dies?”
It is in the form of a question, but it is apparently that David believes that Abner died foolishly. Even worse, this ruins the peace between Israel and Judah that was being worked on.
V. David’s Response (v. 28-39)
Finally we have David’s response.
What does he do:
First, David washed his hands from the guilt of Abner’s blood.
Then, he called upon all about him, even Joab himself, to lament the death of Abner. And David himself followed the corpse as chief mourner, and made a funeral oration at the grave.
So we see that them again of David’s house growing in strength, but not by his actions; certainly not be any sin of his. God’s hand is in this. Even though Abner has died, the main idea of “David’s Kingdom strengthening” is continuing. He has more children. And Israel’s general is now dead, though not of David’s design.
Conclusions:
Consider this. Abner was killed just outside the city gate, just outside of the safety of the city of refuge.
Here is the parallel an application for Christian. Do not step outside of Christ. Only a fool steps outside of the place of refuge. And being just outside the city is the same as being a 1000 miles away.
Fortunately for us who are IN Christ, HE went outside of the city dying for us. Golgotha, Calvary, is noted as being outside of the city. Now, granted Jerusalem was not one of the cities of refuge in the Old Testament.
One other conclusion we should consider from this text. It is a warning against taking things into your own hands. We are to bee peaceful and patient, and choose God’s will over your emotions.
We are to seek reconciliation not revenge.