Sermon for Sunday morning, July 28, 2024 at Unionville Presbyterian Church, BPC
Old Testament reading:
[Gen 2:18-25 ESV] 18 Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” 19 Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. 21 So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
New Testament reading:
[Eph 5:25-33 ESV] 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Gospel reading:
[Mat 19:1-12 ESV] 1 Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. 2 And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. 3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” 7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” 10 The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. 12 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”
Scripture reading:
[1Sa 25:36-44 ESV] 36 And Abigail came to Nabal, and behold, he was holding a feast in his house, like the feast of a king. And Nabal’s heart was merry within him, for he was very drunk. So she told him nothing at all until the morning light. 37 In the morning, when the wine had gone out of Nabal, his wife told him these things, and his heart died within him, and he became as a stone. 38 And about ten days later the LORD struck Nabal, and he died. 39 When David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, “Blessed be the LORD who has avenged the insult I received at the hand of Nabal, and has kept back his servant from wrongdoing. The LORD has returned the evil of Nabal on his own head.” Then David sent and spoke to Abigail, to take her as his wife. 40 When the servants of David came to Abigail at Carmel, they said to her, “David has sent us to you to take you to him as his wife.” 41 And she rose and bowed with her face to the ground and said, “Behold, your handmaid is a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord.” 42 And Abigail hurried and rose and mounted a donkey, and her five young women attended her. She followed the messengers of David and became his wife. 43 David also took Ahinoam of Jezreel, and both of them became his wives. 44 Saul had given Michal his daughter, David’s wife, to Palti the son of Laish, who was of Gallim.
Introduction
We have in our passage today the remaining part of 1 Samuel chapter 25.
Previously Nabal had been shown to be the consummate fool.
And Abigail had saved the day with her discernment.
Now we have the fallout:
Nabal drinks too much, and though he recovers from the wine he doesn’t recover from Abigail telling him the truth of what has happened. His “heart died within him, and he becomes as stone.”
Ten days later then the Lord strikes Nabal and he dies.
David praises God for taking vengeance against evil.
And then David marries Abigail. She is, after all, beautiful and discerning.
But then there really is the elephant in the passage.
How many wives does David have?
He had been married to Michal.
Now he marries Abigail.
And you might think, “OK, the first wife was trouble and that ended and now he marries the wonderful Abigail.” That isn’t so unusual or so bad? Right?
Well, immediately and in addition to Abigail we read
“David also took Ahinoam of Jezreel, and both of them became his wives.”
Uh-oh.
How many wives does David have? Now it is up to 3, and at least the last 2 he has concurrently.
And if you continue through the Scriptures you find that David has something like 8 women who are either his wife or the mother of one of his children.
David’s wives include:
Michal (1 Samuel 18:17)
Abigail (1 Samuel 25:42)
Ahinoam of Jezreel (1 Samuel 25:43)
Maachah (2 Samuel 3:3) Possibly a concubine?
Haggith (2 Samuel 3:4) Possibly a concubine?
Abital (2 Samuel 3:4) Possibly a concubine?
Eglah (2 Samuel 3:5) “his wife”
Bathsheba (2 Samuel 12:24)
David was a polygamist. He has multiple wives.
And not only that, there are many other polygamists in the Bible. Other Biblical characters who had multiple wives include:
Lamech (2, Adah and Zillah according to Genesis 4:19)
Abraham (3, Sarai, Hagar, and Keturah according to Genesis 16:1-3, Genesis 25:1)
Esau (2, Judith and Basemath, according to Genesis 26:34)
Jacob (two wives according to Genesis 32:22)
Gideon (“Many wives” according to Judges 8:30)
Elkanah (2, Hannah and Peninnah according to 1 Samuel 1:1-2)
and
Solomon (700 wives, 300 concubines, according to 1 Kings 11:3)
Among others.
So what gives? Why is it that the Christian Church has always been against polygamy? Are we not reading the Bible? Hardly. That is not the answer. What I want to do today is explain the case against polygamy. And this is important to understand because many critique the Bible for the polygamy that is in their, and others use it to promote polygamy and related errors.
So why is it that in fact we are against polygamy?
What is the Biblical case against polygamy? [REPEAT: What is the Biblical case against polygamy?]
We’ll be looking that question (and answer) in three points today:
I. The Bible DESCRIBES Polygamy but does not PRESCRIBE it.
II. The Bible displays the ill-effects of Polygamy
III. The Bible promotes Monogamy
First,
I. The Bible DESCRIBES Polygamy but does not PRESCRIBE it.
Every time that there is plural marriage mentioned in the Bible, it is because the writer of the text is reporting on the truth of the existence of that arrangement. But never in that reporting do we have an approval of the idea.
A failure to understanding the difference between DESCRIPTION and PRESCRIPTION or the difference between IS and OUGHT is the error at THE forefront of the minds of those who argue for polygamy.
They say “Look the Bible teaches it.” But, in truth, while the Bible indeed tells us that certain people had multiple wives, it never records God’s approval of the practice. The Bible never approves of tpolygamy
Those who have made this error includes the Mormons, and especially today the Fundamentalist Mormons. And when you read the record it is pretty clear that their charlatan false-prophet Joseph Smith (who was an obvious con-man) supported polygamy (secretly at first) for himself to seek to fulfill his own desires, and not because he was a Biblical scholar who convinced himself from a careful reading of the Scriptures that it was a necessary practice. The Mormons “officially” ended the practice of polygamy when the state of Utah joined the United States. But polygamy continued in some pockets including today in the Fundamentalist Mormons who look back to Joseph Smith as their example to do the same.
Now the reason that there were plural marriages especially in Old Testament times is worth considering. Essentially, it was because of sin. The sinfulness of man goes against the ways of God. And the foreign nations were often practicing polygamy, and so the Israelites were tempted by them.
Now, the Bible, not only DOES NOT advocate for polygamy, it in fact warns against it.
II. The Bible Displays the Ill-effects of Polygamy
Never does the Bible say “look at how happy this extra-big family is.” Rather, the Bible warns against plural marriage.
Here are some Biblical examples. Examples of troubles caused by polygamy:
In Genesis 16, Abram and Sarai are, at first, unable to have children. So he has children through Hagar. But this creates jealously and conflict with Sarai. And who is born from Abram and Hagar is none other than Ishmael the father of the Arabs who to this day are enemies of the Jews. This polygamist situation therefore has drastic consequences for both that time and through the centuries.
In Genesis 30, Jacob marries both Rachel AND Leah who then each struggle against each other with jealousy. Plural marriage caused competition between the wives.
In 2 Samuel 11, David’s lust for Bathsheba as another wife leads him to eventually murder her husband Uriah the Hittite.
And in 1 Kings 11, the many wives of Solomon turn his heart away from God to serve false gods.
Those who argue FOR polygamy will say “polygamy wasn’t the problem for David, lust and adultery were.” And they’ll say “polygamy wasn’t the problem for Solomon, marrying FOREIGN wives was the problem.” Yet, we frequently enough see problems with plural marriage in the Scripture, that we must at least consider the trouble it brings about.
It is difficult though, if not impossible, to judge ANY practice based on a few results. What we need is a SURE WORD from God. Fortunately we have that clarity in the Scriptures.
III. The Bible promotes Monogamy
We find that the Bible actually promotes MONOGAMY; marriage of ONLY ONE man and ONY ONE woman. It does so in two ways: FIRST through “select prohibitions” against polygamy and SECOND through setting monogamy as the paradigm or ideal.
A. Select Prohibitions of Polygamy
There is prohibition in Deuteronomy 17:17 against THE KING having many wives.
[Deu 17:17 ESV] 17 And he shall not acquire many wives for himself, lest his heart turn away, nor shall he acquire for himself excessive silver and gold.
And in New Testament we find repeatedly (1 Timothy 3:2, 1 Timothy 3:12, and Titus 1:6) that a church ELDER or a church DEACON is to be “the husband of ONE wife.”
Admittedly, these are not UNIVERSAL prohibitions, but certainly are indications that “if this is not good for the King or for an elder or a deacon, than it is not good for anyone else either.”
B. Setting Monogamy as the Ideal
So there are select prohibitions and then there is the fact that the Bible positively advocates for monogamy; setting it as the ideal.
In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul says that to combat the temptation to sexual immorality “each man should have his own wife and each women her own husband.”
That is a good summary of the correct Biblical position that we often hear summarized with the good definition: “Marriage is to be between ONE MAN and ONE Woman.” And we so often emphasize MAN and WOMAN. But what we’re focusing on today is the ONE man and ONE woman.
But it is not just a New Testament doctrine; not a change from the Old. Jesus explains that monogamy has been the ideal from the beginning.
[Mat 19:4-5 ESV] 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?
This points us back to Genesis.
There we find in the Singular: “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
So it has always been “one man and one woman” together.
[Monogamy in one sense is even built into nature. Children come from the union of one man and one woman. Never have 3 or 4 or more people combined their DNA to produce children.]
Application: Polygamy, Alive and making people Unwell today
You might think that polygamy is an issue from a former era, and therefore not applicable to today’s conversation. But not only is it alive in some fringe groups like the Fundamentalist Mormons, but it is being promoted, in a way, by the opposite end of the political spectrum; promoted by some atheistic liberals. But there it is called Polyamory.
This is one of those tricks in language. Polyamory. “We love multiple people” they say. “It is alright to love more than one person, right?” Well, we as Christians are called to love all people in that we show them kindness. That doesn’t mean we are to marry everyone.
Polyamorists argue for all variations on the number of persons in a marriage. Multiple men, multiple women (even though they aren’t likely able to define what a woman is) as well as people claiming to be some gender other than a man or a woman.
It is instructive to look at the basis of the “ethics” behind polyamory. Polyamory is based on a certain idea — the same idea that in fact homosexual marriage is based on — and that is the idea that consenting adults can do what they want so long as they’re not “harming anyone else.” It may be true that they are not “harming anyone else” except for the fact that God will bring down his wrath upon the nation and the world for its sins. But the ultimate problem with this “ethical basis” is that it is arbitrary. Why “consenting adults” and not “consenting adults AND children”? Why not non-consenting adults? Imagine that, you get a letter in the mail saying you’ve been married against your will. Crazy, but no less crazy that polyamory. One ethical basis is as arbitrary as the next. Except, only if we have the SOLID WORD of the Lord. That is the Christian ethics: thus sayeth the Lord. It is true, it is right, it is good … because God said so. And it is false, it is wrong, and it is evil because it is against the law of God. Thus polyamory is wrong. Likewise, polygamy, homosexual marriage, and all other deviations from the law of God.
Isn’t polyamory solid evidence that we are in the “end days.” Evil is expanding upon the world.
2 Peter 3:3 tells us “scoffers will come in the last days with scoffing, following their own sinful desires.”
The sins of this world — now in many places including polyamory — are at least to the level of the people before the Flood of Noah or even worse. Lord have mercy on us. But His wrath will not be held back indefinitely. The day of the Lord will come and all the works that have been done on the earth will be exposed.
The only hope is in Jesus Christ. For we indeed are all sinners. Not just the polygamist or the polyamories, or any other such obvious case. We too, each one of us, sin against the Lord and deserve his judgment. The laws of the Old Testament are only doubled-down upon in the New. Jesus says that if you have lust you are guilty of adultery (which is punishable by death), and if you have anger you are guilty of murder (which is also punishable by death).
So we need the Lord.
And Jesus comes.
He comes in a monogamous relationship. Jesus himself was not married, but the Scriptures speak of him as THE bridegroom and the church as THE bride.
Human marriage, which is only for our time on this earth, is to be a reflection of that eternal relationship of God and the Church. The church is to have no other God. And the married person is to have no other spouse than the one they are married to.
We see in this Ephesians 5:
[Eph 5:31-32 ESV] 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
So let us honor marriage in the way God intend, and let us follow him alone all of our days. Let us pray.